Veiled Faces Part 1

I’m listening to my all time favorite album. I love pulling it out and playing it after having a long absence from it. It brings me to a place of peace and a hidden rest. I say hidden because when I listen to the mellow sounds of this album I feel like I’m hidden away in the remotest of places and all around me is beauty and that soft subtle ache that reminds me that I am human. I like being reminded that I am human, though it is painful sometimes, it grounds me to the earth I so long to be away from. But this is where I belong, amongst the restless beauty of the world held together by will.

A few nights ago I was sitting journaling somewhere and feeling sorry for myself, per usual. And I began having memories of dreams that I have had in the last year, and I heard the Lord tell me that I have not been abandoned like I had supposed and that I needed to realize just what kind of intense communication I have experienced in my darkest times. He told me that I was acting like an abandoned, orphaned, neglected child by my Father and that I needed to stop doing that, because it wasn’t true.

He hasn’t broken his promise to always be with me. I just haven’t seen it the way he sees it. I’ve begun thinking about that, thinking about the processing we do as believers, and how little faith we have in God when we “process”. It’s all such a tension and I know that’s how it is suppose to be. I’ve also been thinking about the veil that is between all of us right now. It’s like we are all seriously hidden from one another. I’ve don’t remember another time like this in my life when I have felt such a strong sovereignty about the way we are all polarized from each other, but in the conversations I have had lately it’s like we are all walking on the same invisible path quite closely together, but no one sees it.

I’m working on some thoughts that I am going to work on, regarding this hiddeness…